


Dreaming of finding you

by readwritebeawesome



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Self-Harm, Soulmate AU, caliborn is an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-16 03:11:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8084464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readwritebeawesome/pseuds/readwritebeawesome
Summary: Turning sixteen was supposed to be simple for John. He would dream of his soulmate (probably Vriska) and then he would be happy with her. He didn't count on dreaming of a boy who was who-knows-where. He didn't count on the political shift the country would be going through. He definitely didn't count on worrying whether or not his dad would come home alive. And when your soulmate is hurting himself but you have no way to reach him?God damn it! Since when was turning sixteen so complicated?!





	1. Chapter 1

     John squirmed excitedly in the car. It was his sixteenth birthday! He and his friends were all going to the beach! John grinned at Jade and Vriska, who sat on either side of him. Of course John was excited because he was going to the beach with his friends. But he was even more excited to fall asleep!

     “What if I can’t fall asleep?!” he exclaimed.

     “You’ll collapse from exhaustion eventually,” Vriska said.

     “What if my soulmate isn’t sixteen yet?!”

     “I guess you’ll have to wait until their birthday,” Jane said.

     “What if my soulmate isn’t asleep at the same time?!”

     “I guess they’ll pass out when you fall asleep?” Jade said.

     “Someone better catch me then!” Vriska joked. John and Jade laughed. They didn’t know for sure that Vriska was John’s soulmate, but John hoped she was.

     “I can’t wait to find out who they are!” Nepeta called from behind them. John turned and saw she looked as excited as he was. Equius seemed to be trying to calm her and failing.

     “Guys!” Jane yelled. “We’re here!”

     John’s dad pulled over into the parking lot. John and his friends could see the beach. They all jumped out of the car as Feferi’s mom pulled up next to them. Feferi, Eridan, and Aradia all came out. Soon they were all running at top speed to the beach.

     Feferi and Eridan dumped their stuff in a random spot and raced into the water. Jade and Jane stopped and began to set everything up. John, Nepeta and Equius helped them.

     “Come on John!” Vriska said, grabbing his arm.

     She dragged him over to the water. John grinned and splashed as much water on her as he could. She laughed and splashed him back. She chased him through the water, splashing him every chance she got. John laughed and splashed her back. Then he tripped on a rock and fell.

     “Whoa!” His head plunged underwater and he immediately grabbed his glasses. He closed his eyes and kicked his legs. He broke through the surface and laughed. Vriska tackled him, sending him underwater again. They wrestled until they couldn’t hold their breath any longer and swam to the surface.

     “OTP!” Nepeta yelled, making a heart around them with her hands. John laughed and Vriska wrapped an arm around his shoulders. She tousled his hair and he laughed, causing water to get into his mouth. He spat it out and coughed.

     “Boo!” Feferi yelled, jumping up behind him. John squealed and jumped. Vriska and Feferi laughed and he tried desperately to convince them he hadn’t squealed.

     “You did too squeal!” Vriska said, laughing. She tickled him under his chin and John flapped his arms.

     “C-cut it out!” he yelled, laughing. Vriska grinned and tackled him again, sending them underwater. He squirmed and wrestled until he broke free and swam up to the surface. He and Vriska laughed for a few seconds. Then she tackled him again.

     They kept that up for a whole hour. By the time their friends got them out of the water John was exhausted. He flopped onto his blue towel and closed his eyes. He could hear his friends laughing and talking, but they all sounded distant to him. He was so tired, he soon found himself drifting asleep.

 

     _John saw a boy sitting in what must have been his bedroom. He had white hair and dark aviator shades that hid his eyes from view. He was fiddling with some turntables and after a few seconds John could hear him. He was rapping something._

_As John listened, he had to admit the guy was pretty good. He got every note right and the rhythm was perfect. John found he was a bit jealous. He couldn’t sing well at all._

_Then the scene changed suddenly and he was watching the boy sword-fighting someone. For some reason though, he couldn’t see who he was fighting. But he was really fast! He dodged and jumped and swung his sword so quickly he looked like a blur to John._

_John watched him get kicked and fall to the ground. He wanted to yell to him, but he couldn’t open his mouth. Then the scene changed again and the guy was sitting in his room again, drinking apple juice. John listened and realized he was rapping about drinking apple juice while he drank apple juice. He couldn’t help but giggle. He was so silly!_

_Then the scene changed again and John’s smile was replaced with a frown. The guy was sitting on his bed with a red laptop on his lap. His hands slid under his shades and clutched at his hair. He was breathing heavily. John wondered if he was crying._

_Then the scene changed and John gasped. The guy was curled up in a ball in his bathroom. Blood ran down from his right wrist and a razor was clutched in his left hand. John felt his stomach clench and churn. He felt a desperate urge to help the guy, but he couldn’t move at all!_

_Finally the scene changed again. The boy’s wrist wasn’t bleeding anymore. He stood in the bathroom, staring in the mirror. His shades were clutched in his hands. He turned and looked at John and John gasped. His eyes were a startling bright red. Seeing them sent a sudden rush of warmth through John. His eyes widened as he realized what he was seeing._

     John gasped and sat up.

     “Oh my god! My soulmate’s a guy!”


	2. Chapter 2

     “My soulmate’s a nerd.”

     “Congratulations Dave.”

     Dave blinked and realized he was lying on the couch. Rose was sitting next to his head, knitting a scarf. She looked down at him and smiled.

     “You collapsed suddenly so I lay you down on the couch,” she said.

     “Oh.” Dave sat up and stretched his arms. His brain was a bit fuzzy after the dream, but it was beginning to clear up.

     “So what’s your soulmate like?” Rose asked.

     “Uh, he has spiky black hair, glasses, buck teeth. His eyes are a blue that’s like, uh…I dunno, if you combined the sky and the ocean maybe? And he likes really weird movies. And gushers. And he really hates baked goods, and the company Betty Crocker. And he can play the piano. And I think he’s allergic to peanuts? And he likes playing pranks. Like, a lot. And he thinks he’s straight.”

     “He must have had quite a shock.”

     “Yeah.” Dave stretched his legs and stood up.

     “Where’d everyone else go anyway?”

     “They’re out getting food.”

     As if Rose was summoning them, Tavros, Sollux, Terezi, Karkat, Gamzee and Kanaya all came in carrying two pizza boxes and three bottles of soda.

     “Oh, you’re awake,” Kanaya said. “How do you feel?” She reached over to fuss over Dave’s hair but he quickly ducked away.

     “I’m fine! I’m not sick!”

     “Then why the fuck did you collapse?” Karkat asked, setting a pizza box on the couch.

     “He dreamed of his soulmate,” Rose said.

     “You could have let me tell them that!”

     “Really?!” Terezi exclaimed.

     “Miracles!” Gamzee said, holding up his bottle of faygo.

     “Who is it?!” Terezi asked excitedly.

     “None of you losers.”

     “Well duh!”

     “Some nerdy guy with a bad taste in movies and a fear of baked goods.”

     “He sounds weird,” Terezi said.

     “He sounds dumb,” Karkat said.

     “If we’re going to discuss Dave’s soulmate, can we please at least eat while we do that?” Kanaya said.

     So while they all sat down and ate pizza and drank soda (and faygo), Dave told them about his soulmate. Terezi was especially interested.

     “He sounds like fun!” she said.

     “I’m sure he’d get along with everyone,” Kanaya said, gesturing to them. “After all, we aren’t exactly normal either.”

     “And we do have someone with a terrible taste in movies,” Dave said.

     “Fuck you! My taste in movies is great!” Karkat snapped.

     “Uh, wait a second,” Tavros said. “How are you um, how are you going to find him?”

     Everyone stopped and stared at Dave.

     “Fuck.”

     Just then Dirk walked in. He tossed Dave the new sword he’d bought, which Dave caught expertly.

     “What’d I miss?” Dirk asked, taking some Fanta out of the fridge.

     “Dave dreamed about his soulmate,” Rose said. Dirk’s eyebrows rose, which only Dave noticed.

     “And he has no fucking clue how to find him,” Karkat said. Dirk snorted.

     “Figures. Good luck.” He ruffled Dave’s hair and walked into his room. Dave immediately tried to fix his hair, which Kanaya tried to help him with.

     “You’re not my mom!” Dave hissed. Kanaya ignored him and fussed with his hair until it was perfect.

     “There you go,” she said.

     “But seriously, how is Dave gonna find his soulmate?” Terezi asked.

     “Can we worry about that later?” Sollux asked. “I jutht want to eat pizza.”

     Dave’s friends stayed over for another three hours. Eventually though they had to go home. Rose promised to visit tomorrow to talk to him more about his soulmate. Gamzee promised to pray for a miracle for him. Once they were all gone Dave shut himself in his room.

     He debated working on a mix, but he was too tired. So he lay in bed and closed his eyes. But he couldn’t get to sleep. He sighed and cast his gaze around the room. Then he noticed his laptop. Someone was pestering him.

     Dave walked over to the laptop and looked at the chumhandle. What he saw made his stomach clench into a knot.

     “Caliborn,” he hissed.

     He stared at the flashing chumhandle on his screen. He slammed his laptop closed and took a deep breath. _Fuck. It’s all Dirk’s fault! He got him pestering me! He told him about me!_ Dave caught himself and shook his head. He couldn’t blame Dirk. He didn’t know what his internet friend was really like.

     Dave realized he was unconsciously rubbing his wrists. He stopped and lay back down. No matter how worried he was, he was going to get to sleep. He just had to ignore the presence looming through his laptop.


	3. Chapter 3

     “Bullshit!” Vriska yelled.

     “Are you serious?!” Jade, Jane and Feferi exclaimed.

     “What’s he look like?!” Nepeta asked excitedly, holding up her sketchbook and crayons.

     “Um…” John stared at his friends and realized he’d yelled that out loud. “Uh, he-”

     “Hold it!” Vriska yelled. “You’ve got to be shitting me! Your soulmate can’t be a GUY!” John gulped and stared at the ground.

     “Calm down Vriska,” Aradia said. Vriska turned and shoved Aradia.

     “Fuck you! Don’t talk to me!” Before anyone could say anything Vriska took off running.

     “Wait!” Feferi called. She ran after Vriska. After a second Eridan followed her. Everyone else was quiet for a moment.

     “…Shit,” John whined. Jane sat down and hugged him.

     “She’ll get over it,” she said. “Just give her some time to calm down.”

     John’s remaining friends sat with him and did their best to comfort him. But John couldn’t get the sick feeling out of his stomach. _Why couldn’t my soulmate be Vriska? Oh man, she definitely hates me now! What am I gonna do?!_

     After a little while John noticed Nepeta was squirming impatiently. He sighed. He couldn’t keep her waiting forever or she’d burst.

     “You wanna know what he’s like?” he asked her. Nepeta’s face broke out in a wide grin.

     “Yes!” she said. “Please, please, please!” John gulped down some bile and nodded.

     John spent a whole hour telling them about his soulmate. One quarter of that time was spent describing his eyes, without ever mentioning what colour they were. John had a feeling he shouldn’t tell them. He also avoided telling them about the more…upsetting things he’d seen. He tried not to think about the blood running down the boy’s wrists, but it kept popping up in his mind. It made his own wrists burn when he thought about it.

     “He sounds weird,” Jade said when John finished.

     “He should fit right in!” Jane said. John smiled and nodded. He tried to feel happy, but he couldn’t help but feel uneasy.

     “John!” John and his friends looked up to see his dad walk over. He was still wearing his white clothes and fedora, even at the beach! “Feferi’s mom says it’s time for lunch,” he said. He looked at them and frowned. “Where is Feferi? And Eridan and Vriska?” John gulped and a few of his friends flinched.

     “They ran off somewhere,” Aradia said. “They should be back soon. They’ll probably guess we’re having lunch when they see we aren’t here. Let’s go.”

     That got everyone up. John’s dad looked confused, but he didn’t question it. They all walked to Feferi’s summer house, which was right at the beach. John couldn’t help but gasp when he saw it. It was huge! It had three stories. There was a large room with glass walls that overlooked the beach, a balcony on the second floor and other rooms that had who-knows-what in them.

     “This is so coool!” Nepeta exclaimed, running around in the yard. Feferi’s mom was standing next to a big barbecue. John and his friends ran over to her.

     “Where’s Feferi?” she asked.

     “She’s with Eridan and Vriska somewhere,” Aradia answered. “They’ll be back.” Feferi’s mom shrugged.

     “Whatevah. Hotdog or hamburger?”

     Ten minutes later they were all sitting at the picnic table laughing and eating. Jade and Jane told funny stories that made everyone laugh. John had lots of fun. His friends were able to keep his mind off his soulmate problems. That is, until Feferi, Eridan and Vriska showed up.

     Everyone went silent. Vriska grabbed herself a hotdog and sat down. Feferi and Eridan did the same. Feferi smiled to them all.

     “What did we miss?” she asked. That started up the conversations again. John looked at Vriska, but she was ignoring him. He gulped and looked down at his burger. He wasn’t hungry anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

     John tossed and turned, but he just couldn’t get comfortable. He groaned and stared at the ceiling. A map of Canada was painted on the ceiling and was visible in the moonlight. John’s eyes traced the lines running across it for awhile. Then he grew bored again. He sighed and looked around the room. Equius and Eridan were sound asleep. And since he couldn’t hear any giggling from next door, the girls were asleep too.

     John tried to go to sleep, but after ten minutes he gave up. He crept silently out of the room and outside. He didn’t bother putting his shoes on. Instead he walked down to the beach barefoot, letting the sand sink in-between his toes. He smiled and ran along the water, holding his arms out so he could pretend he was flying. He grinned and ran into the water. He rolled his pants up and kept running, the splashing sounding loud in the silence of the night. He laughed and kicked the water at invisible opponents. He rolled around in the sand and laughed when a wave splashed him in the face.

     Then he knelt in the sand and began to make a sandcastle. He made it really big, with lots of towers. Then he made a wall around it and a moat with a bridge across from it. He collected empty shells of crab bodies and stuck them around the castle to act as guards. Then he collected sea shells and decorated the castle. When he was done he sat back and admired his work. He liked it, but something was missing.

     Someone reached from behind him and stuck a flag made of a stick and a strip of cloth on the top. John looked up and jumped when he saw it was Vriska. She brushed sand off her hands and sat next to him.

     “Um…” John wasn’t entirely sure what he should say. She had been avoiding him ever since he’d found out who his soulmate is. “Are you still mad?”

     “…No,” Vriska said. John sighed with relief. “I’m furious.” John gulped and his stomach dropped.

     “Oh.” Neither of them said anything. The silence seemed to stretch on forever and it made John uncomfortable.

     “I’m sorry,” he finally said, breaking the silence. Vriska sighed and rolled her eyes.

     “Took you long enough,” she said. John bit his lip and stared at the ground.

     “I really do wish you were my soulmate. I just…I can’t choose. I can’t do anything about it.” Vriska sighed again.

     “I know.” John nodded, wondering if he should say more. He could tell he hadn’t calmed Vriska down at all.

     “If I’m not your soulmate, then it just means you’ll be even happier with someone else.”

     “I don’t want to be.”

     “But-”

     “I don’t want to John!” Vriska reached over and grabbed John’s head. “I’d be happy enough with you! I don’t want to be happier with someone else! I don’t believe I could be!”

     “…I’m sorry.”

     “Stop saying that!”

     “Sor—okay.” Vriska took a deep breath and John hoped she was calming down. She looked him in the eye and pulled him into a kiss.

     John found himself pushing her away. His stomach churned and he turned away from her. He covered his mouth and puke ran down his arm. He gasped and clutched his side. He puked again, this time lowering his hand. _Why do I feel so sick?!_ He glanced behind him and saw Vriska was doing the same thing.

     “What the hell?!” she choked.

     “I-I think it’s because we aren’t soulmates,” John said. “It’s like…a reflex.”

     “Oh that makes it better!” Vriska snapped. She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and glared at him. John thought she looked like she was crying.

     “Vriska, I’m sorry-”

     “I told you to stop saying that!” Vriska kicked the sandcastle, sending it tumbling down. The little flag got buried under the sand. John stared at her with wide eyes. She shoved past him and ran back to the house. For awhile John didn’t move. Then he swept the remains of the sandcastle away and washed his hands and face in the ocean. He looked at where the sandcastle had been and sighed.

     “Damn it,” he whispered. He rubbed his eyes and ran back to the house. That had drained him emotionally and physically. He needed to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

     Dave hated his alarm clock. Just when his soulmate had shown up in his dream, the damn thing started beeping like it was having a heart attack. Alarm clocks can’t even have heart attacks!

     Dave dragged himself out of bed and to the kitchen. He put a slice of bread in the toaster and grabbed a cup of apple juice from the fridge. The toast popped out of the toaster and Dave just grabbed it and started eating it. He was too tired to bother with jam.

     He wandered into the living room and found Dirk sitting on the couch watching the news. He sat next to him and took a sip of apple juice.

     “What are we watching?” he asked.

     “Some new politician in Canada’s getting really powerful,” Dirk said, gesturing at the guy on the screen. He was giving a speech to a large crowd of people. There were dark green flags next to him with what looked like a ‘U’ with a squiggle running across it. _What kind of symbol is that?_

     The guy looked to be pretty young for a politician. His head was shaved and he had multiple scars running across his face. He looked more like a member of a gang than a politician. Despite that, he was getting the crowd really excited. They shouted and cheered for him.

     “We will get rid of all the filth in this country!” the man yelled. “Everyone who ties us down must go! We must be strong! We must prevail!”

     The crowd went nuts. They cheered and clapped and lots of them waved smaller versions of the flags that stood next to him. The man smiled, and it sent a shiver down Dave’s spine.

     “What’s his name?” he asked.

     As if she could hear him, the newswoman answered. “He is known by everyone only as ‘Lord English’ and has been gaining many followers since he first started his speeches two months ago.”

     “Isn’t English your soulmate’s name?” Dave asked.

     “Trust me, Jake doesn’t have any relatives like that,” Dirk said. Dave shrugged and gulped down the rest of his apple juice.

     “I just hope mine isn’t in Canada too.” Dave looked at Dirk to see if he would respond, but he was too busy watching the TV screen. Dave shrugged and walked back to his room. He sat on his bed and grabbed his laptop. He glanced briefly at what Caliborn had said last night and clenched his jaw.

     “Asshole,” he muttered. Then Karkat’s chumhandle began flashing.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:23 AM

CG: HEY SERIOUSLY HOW ARE WE GOING TO FIND YOUR SOULMATE?

TG: you actually care?

CG: WHY THE HELL WOULDN’T I?! ROSE SAID THERE’S A 75% CHANCE THERE WILL BE A BAD SIDE EFFECT IF YOU DON’T FIND HIM.

TG: oh

TG: well shit

CG: SO START SPEWING SUGGESTIONS ASSHOLE!

TG: man i don’t have any

TG: trust me i’m thinking as hard as my ironic brain can

TG: but i don’t even know his name

CG: FUCK.

CG: THEN WHAT THE HOLY HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!

TG: i dunno

TG: maybe pull a gamzee and wait for a miracle to happen?

CG: BULLSHIT! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!

TG: not many options here karkat

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? GET SOLLUX TO FIND HIM.

TG: using his insane hacker skills

CG: YEAH.

TG: won’t he think it’s a waste of time?

CG: TELL HIM YOU’LL ASK ROXY TO IF HE DOESN’T. HE HATES IT WHEN WE ASK HER INSTEAD OF HIM.

TG: good old jealousy

CG: YEAH.

TG: okay i’ll give it a shot

CG: YOU BETTER TELL ME IF YOU FIND HIM!

TG: why?

CG: BECAUSE I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND YOU ASSHOLE!

TG: chill i know that

TG: don’t worry i’ll let you know

CG: GOOD.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:26 AM

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA] at 9:26 AM

TG: earth to captor

TG: do you read me

TA: what now?

TG: i need to use your mad hacker skills

TA: what for?

TG: finding my soulmate

TG: i was gonna ask roxy to but karkat thought i should ask you first for some reason

TA: that rea2on ii2 that ii’m much better than her.

TA: giive me untiil lunchtiime.

TG: cool

TG: thanks

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA] at 9:27 AM

     Dave smirked and leaned back from his computer. _Works every time!_ He stretched his arms and glanced out the window. He debated going outside, but decided not to bother. He wouldn’t miss anything important. He would just wait for Sollux to find his soulmate.

     At the same time, Dirk was having a phone conversation with Jake.

     “Did you see the news?” Dirk asked.

     “Oh, you mean about Lord English!” Jake said. “Yes, I’m just watching it now.”

     “Yeah, he seems like he’s gonna be an asshole.”

     “Yes, I quite agree.”

     “He’s not related to you, is he?”

     “Oh golly, no! He’s…sort of an old friend? Or, well we weren’t friends. Actually, I believe he wants us to be rivals.”

     “Ookay.”

     “I haven’t talked to him for years though. Hopefully he won’t get too powerful.”

     “What’s the worst he could do?”

     “You’d be surprised.”


	6. Chapter 6

     John found it hard to concentrate during class. He kept glancing back at Vriska’s empty seat. He was really worried about her.

     “Just visit her after school,” Jade whispered to him. John shook his head.

     “I can’t do that,” he whispered back.

     “Why not?”

     “I…what if she’s still mad at me?!”

     “John-”

     “Excuse me sir!” the student behind John piped up, raising his hand.

     “Yes?” the teacher asked.

     “Um, the pin on your shirt, is that one of Lord English’s?” The teacher smiled as the gaze of every student was directed to the small green pin resting just above his heart.

     “Yes, it is,” he said.

     “So you support him?” a girl asked.

     “That’s right. He’s here to save our country. He will get rid of the criminals and filth that drag us down. We’ll be able to reach our full potential!”

     This started a long debate about Lord English’s motives and beliefs, which lasted the rest of the class. John didn’t really pay much attention. Lord English and his followers made him nervous.

     “How about we do homework at your house John?” Jade suggested.

     “Okay, sure.” John tried to make it sound like it wasn’t that big a deal. He knew his friends were worried about him ever since he found out who his soulmate is. John had gotten over the fact his soulmate was a guy, and was now worrying about how to find him.

     “How do most people find their soulmate?” John wondered aloud as they walked home.

     “I dunno,” Jade said. “I think for some people, it’s someone they already know.”

     “Otherwise, I guess they just find each other?” Nepeta said. She shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, I’m not sure.”

     “That’s okay,” John said, supressing a sigh. It had been a week, and he was beginning to have a hard time falling asleep. Of course, he hadn’t told anyone that. He didn’t want them to worry about him any more than they already were.

     Once they were at John’s house they all converged in the living room. Jane brought them all cookies, which John avoided touching. She smiled and ruffled his hair before going back into the kitchen to bake more. Jane always baked a lot when she was worried.

     John and his friends had only managed to finish one question when there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it,” John said, getting up. He could feel his friends’ “inconspicuous” gazes following him as he went to the door. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

     “Hey John.”

     “Vriska! Uh, hi!” John _felt_ the whole room go quiet. Vriska rolled her eyes and even managed a small smile.

     “Wanna go see a movie?” she asked.

     “Wait, right now?”

     “Did I specify otherwise?” She smirked and grabbed his arm. “Come on!”

     “Uh, okay. Bye guys!” John just managed to shut the door before Vriska dragged him off to the theater.

     “Sooo…aliens or zombies?” she asked.

     “Aliens,” John answered, though he wasn’t sure if he wanted to watch either. Vriska bought their tickets and a big bag of popcorn. They sat as close to the front as they could get and put the popcorn between them. John had relaxed considerably.

     “Does this mean you’re not mad anymore?” he asked. Vriska swallowed some popcorn and shrugged.

     “I’m annoyed,” she answered. “But I’m annoyed about something all the time, so I can live with it.” John managed to laugh at that.

     Then the movie started, and things became normal between them again. At every scary scene, John would hide his face in Vriska’s shoulder, and she kept her arm around his shoulders and laughed whenever he got scared. John was so happy it was normal that he forgot to get annoyed at her for laughing. By the end of the movie John had completely forgotten about his soulmate and how worried he’d been. Everyone was leaving the theater and John was trying to find the coin he’d dropped on the ground. By the time he found it and stood up, they were the only ones in the theater. He grinned at Vriska, happier than he’d been in a week. Then his wrist suddenly started burning.

     “Ow!” John exclaimed, grabbing his wrist. He dropped the coin on the ground when he did, but he didn’t notice. His right wrist felt like it was being cut by something.

     “What’s wrong?” Vriska asked. She put the almost-empty popcorn bag down and grabbed John’s hand. John didn’t even notice.

     “M-my wrist hurts,” he said. Vriska frowned and ran her finger along his wrist. John couldn’t even feel her do that.

     “Okay, that’s weird,” she said. But John didn’t think so.

     “I-I think my soulmate-” John stopped himself once he realized what he was about to say.

     “What? What about your soulmate?” John shook his head quickly.

     “It’s nothing.”

     “No it’s not John. Tell me what’s going on.” John bit his lip and took a deep breath.

     “I…I think I can feel it if my soulmate gets hurt.”

     “So you think he broke his wrist or something?” John shook his head. “Then what?”

     “He…in the dream I had, I saw him…” John gulped and continued. “I saw him cutting himself. He…I think someone’s bullying him or something. He looked upset by something on his laptop, and…” Vriska pulled John into a hug and he realized he was crying.

     “It’s okay John,” she said.

     “No it’s not,” he whispered. “I can’t find him, he’s hurting himself and I don’t know what to do!”

     “Calm down.”

     “How?!”

     “Just calm down!” John gulped and took a deep breath. He focused on the smell of Vriska’s hair to distract himself. It smelled really nice.

     “Don’t tell anyone,” John whispered. “About that. And don’t tell him I told you. I mean, if we find him-”

     “You mean _when_ we find him.”

     “…Yeah. When we find him.” The words felt like lies in his mouth. He was so scared he wouldn’t be able to find his soulmate, or that something would happen before he could and he would never be able to see him.

     _I’m scared!_ John would never say it aloud, but he was so terrified. _I want my soulmate!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know Vriska's acceptance of the whole not-John's-soulmate thing seems kind of sudden, but I just thought that she would go "Shit, if I keep being like this I'll lose my best friend" and while she's not totally over it, she's just coping and trying to be supportive of her best friend.


	7. Chapter 7

     “You said to give you until lunchtime Sollux. It’s be a fucking _week!_ ”

     “Shut up Dave!”

     “What the hell is taking so long? Seriously, I might ask Roxy for help instead.” Of course, he already had, and she was faring no better.

     “Shut up! Thomeone’th fucking blocking me! And they’re theriouthly good! Thith ith gonna take a while.” Dave sighed. _The same problem Roxy’s having._

     “Just try to hurry.”

     “I am.” Sollux must have heard the fear Dave had been trying to hide in his voice because he wasn’t yelling at him anymore. “Don’t worry, I’ll get through thith and find him. You know how good a hacker I am.”

     “Yeah, yeah. Just let me know when you’re successful.” Dave hung up and dropped his phone on the floor. He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. His wrist had stopped hurting, but his hands were still shaking. He tucked them under his arms and tried to calm down.

     “There’s nothing to worry about,” he said aloud. “Sollux will find him.” He glanced back at his laptop and was relieved to see Caliborn had stopped pestering him. He shoved his laptop under his bed and lay down on the floor. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

     “Sollux or Roxy will find him, and it will all be okay. Caliborn’s lying. He’s a fucking liar.” A knock at the door startled Dave enough to make him jump. The door opened and Rose poked her head in.

     “Dirk ordered pizza,” she said. “Do you want some?” Dave shook his head. Rose walked in, shutting the door quietly behind her, and sat next to him. She reached out and stroked his hair. “It will be okay Dave,” she whispered.

     “I know.”

     “One of them will get through and find him.”

     “I know.”

     Rose pulled Dave’s head onto her lap and kept stroking his hair. Even though they were only cousins, they’d always had a sibling-like relationship. Hence, Rose was the only person who could get away with doing something like this.

     “What if they take too long?” Dave said. “What if he’s not even in this fucking country?! What if he-”

     Before Dave could finish Rose bent down and kissed is forehead. Dave was about to comment on lipstick stains when he remembered she wasn’t wearing any.

     “It’s going to be okay,” Rose said.

     “How do you know?”

     “Intuition.” Dave snorted and rolled his eyes.

     “You can’t predict the future Rose.”

     “No, but I can be pretty close.” Dave sighed and closed his eyes.

     “Whatever,” he mumbled. Rose sighed and kept stroking his hair. Dave wrapped his arms tighter around himself. He was suddenly aware that Rose might see his wrist, and find out what he had been doing. He knew exactly how she would react: therapy sessions.

     “Dave! Rose! Are you having pizza, or can I eat it all?” Dirk called.

     “Eat it all!” Dave shouted back before Rose could answer. She pursed her lips but didn’t argue, which meant it wasn’t too important to her.

     “You had better not start starving yourself,” Rose said.

     “If I tried, you’d force me into a weird-ass diet. With no apple juice.”

     “Yes, I would make you eat lima beans and orange juice.”

     “Not orange juice. Rose, orange juice and apple juice are _rivals!_ You wouldn’t dare.”

     “Don’t try me.” Dave looked up at Rose’s confident smirk. He sighed.

     “Fine, you win. I’ll eat something. Tomorrow.” Rose pursed her lips again and looked like she wanted to snap at him, but didn’t. Probably because she had too much self-control.

     “Rose!” Dirk called. “Kanaya’s here!” Rose paused and glanced from the door to Dave.

     “Go ahead. I’ll be fine,” Dave said. Rose nodded and gently set his head back on the floor before standing up.

     “Call me if you need something,” she said. Dave nodded and she walked out of the room. He let out a deep sigh. _She didn’t find out. Thank god of apple juice she didn’t find out._ He rubbed his wrist again and took a deep breath.

     “It’ll be fine,” he said. “She said it would be fine, so it’ll fine. Just fine.”


	8. Chapter 8

     John wrapped his arms around himself and looked at the TV screen from behind Jane’s shoulder. Riots had been breaking out at the areas where Lord English did speeches. While it looked like a lot of people opposed him, John had heard that most people supported him. That made him really nervous. The election was coming up soon. But at the moment, John was more worried about something else: his dad was at the riot.

     “Do you see him?” John asked.

     “Not yet,” Jane said. A newsperson in a helicopter was talking about the riot, while the camera pointed at the crowd of rioters yelling at the stadium where inside Lord English was giving a speech.

     “Why don’t you call Vriska?” Jane suggested. John nodded and pulled out his phone. He called her and waited for her to pick up. But she didn’t.

     “She didn’t answer,” John said.

     “Hang on.” Jane took out her phone and called someone. “Hi Aranea! Um, fine. Where’s Vriska? John tried to call her but she didn’t pick up.” John waited while Jane listened. “…Oh. Okay, thanks.” She hung up and put her phone down.

     “Where is she?” John asked. Jane bit her lip and looked at the ground.

     “…She’s in the riot.” John’s stomach clenched and he looked fearfully at the TV screen.

     “Oh.”

 

     Dave’s breaths came out in short gasps and he wrapped his arms around himself. He stared at his laptop screen, wishing he could look away. But he couldn’t. His gaze traveled over the words and his jaw clenched.

     “Fuck you,” he snapped, though he knew Caliborn couldn’t hear him. “Stop it. Fuck, just stop it!” Dave’s vision blurred and he shut his eyes. _Fuck off! He’s not in Canada! He can’t be in Canada! Fuck you! God fucking damn it!_

     “Dave?” Dave jumped and slid his laptop under his bed. He wiped his eyes dry and put his poker face on just as Rose walked into the room.

     “’Sup?” he said. Rose frowned and sat down.

     “Are you doing all right?” she asked.

     “Of course I am.” Rose’s frown deepened and Dave knew he wasn’t being convincing. “Seriously Rose, I’m fine. I do not need whatever therapy bullshit you have planned for me.”

     “I haven’t planned any yet, but since you seem to need it I’ll think of something and stop by later today.”

     “Don’t you fucking dare. Seriously Rose.” Rose reached over and lifted her fingers under his shades. Dave tried to move back, then realized if he did it would knock his shades off. Instead he grabbed them with one hand so that Rose wouldn’t take them off.

     “Dave,” Rose said, rubbing the skin around his eyes. “You’ve been crying.”

     “No I haven’t!” Dave snapped. Rose’s eyebrows rose and he quickly composed himself. “God Rose, I’m a Strider. Striders do not cry. It’s in the book.” Rose rolled her eyes and poked Dave in the stomach, knowing full well how ticklish he was. Dave’s arms immediately wrapped around his stomach and he glared at her.

     “Rose-”

     Rose snatched his shades off his head before he could finish his sentence. Dave instantly closed his eyes. He felt Rose’s fingers brush over them, but refused to open them.

     “Dave,” Rose said again. “Have you been crying?”

     “No.”

     “Don’t you dare lie to me!”

     “I’m not!” Dave held his breath and waited for her to say something. After a few seconds he felt his shades rest atop the bridge of his nose. He opened his eyes and met Rose’s disapproving stare. _She doesn’t believe me._ But Rose didn’t pry.

     “Come watch TV with us,” she said. She stood up and walked out of the room. After checking to make sure Caliborn had shut up, Dave followed her.

     He sat next to Rose, who was squished in between him and Dirk. She looked a bit uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. Roxy was lying on the floor in front of them. Dave looked at the TV screen and gulped.

     “Police may be forced to take drastic measures to stop the crowd,” the newswoman said. Behind her, the screen showed a crowd of rioters screaming and shoving against a line of police who were backed up against the entrance to a building.

     “Where is this?” Dave asked.

     “Canada,” Roxy answered. “It’s where that Lord English prick is making a speech.” Dave barely heard her past ‘Canada’. He hoped to god that he wouldn’t see his soulmate on the screen, so that he could convince himself that he wasn’t in Canada.

     For a while, it looked like the rioters were going to win. The police were getting pushed back farther and farther. Then all of a sudden a bunch of army jeeps showed up and soldiers streamed out. The crowd panicked and tried to flee. In the confusion, people were falling and getting trampled. Dave watched the crowd run down a street with a lot of boring white houses. A boy ran out of his house and waved his arms. A man waved back and ran over to him. Dave blinked and stepped over Roxy to get closer to the TV.

     “Hey!” Roxy exclaimed. Dave ignored her. He stared at the boy on the screen for as long as he could. _Fuck. No. No, no, no, no, no!_

     “Shit!” Dave yelled, head-butting the TV.

     “Whoa, what?!” Roxy exclaimed. Rose turned off the TV and grabbed Dave’s shoulder.

     “What’s wrong Dave?” she asked.

     “I saw my soulmate. He’s in Canada.”

 

     John and Jane stood at the door, watching as the crowd of rioters grew closer. John scanned the crowd desperately for their dad. _Come onnn! Where is he?!_

     “There!” Jane exclaimed, pointing. John followed to where their dad was.

     “Dad!” John yelled, waving his arms. “Dad!” To John’s relief, he looked up at him and waved back. John and Jane watched anxiously as he made their way to them. He jumped onto the doorstep and hugged them both.

     “Inside, now!” he said.

     “John!” John turned and gasped.

     “Vriska!” John broke away from his dad and ran over to her.

     “John, stop!” Jane grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “You’ll get trampled.”

     “Vriska, come on!” John yelled, waving. Vriska did her best to maneuver through the crowd. John held his breath as he watched. _Come on, come on!_

     “Move bitch!” a man snapped, shoving Vriska over. John waited, but he didn’t see her get back up.

     “Vriska!” he yelled, panic seeping in. He tried to break out of Jane’s grip, but she held him tight.

     “Jane, get John inside,” his dad said.

     “No, wait! I have to help Vriska!” John insisted.

     “I’ll get her. Get inside.” John watched his dad run into the crowd.

     “Dad! Wait!”

     “Come on John,” Jane said. She pulled him to the door, but John refused to go inside. He kicked her in the shin, surprising her enough that she loosened her grip. He ran into the crowd, ignoring Jane’s protests. He saw his dad searching for Vriska. _No! He’s looking in the wrong spot!_ John weaved through the crowd, casting his eyes at the ground for her.

     Then he saw her, lying face-down. He ran over to her and scooped her up. He gasped and felt himself go cold. Her head was bleeding and her neck was twisted at an odd angle.

     “Dad!” John screamed. “Dad, she’s hurt!” John clutched Vriska tightly to him and shut his eyes. _She’s okay, she’s okay. She’s going to be okay. Dad will help her. He will!_ John felt his dad lift him into the air and carrying him back to the house. He could hear Jade shouting, but he couldn’t focus on what she was saying.

     “Don’t worry Vriska,” he whispered. “It’ll be okay.”

     John’s dad put him on the couch and took Vriska out of his arms. John tried to hold onto her but his hands felt numb. Jane hugged him tightly to her chest, but all he wanted was to look at Vriska and know that she was okay. He wriggled out of the hug and looked at her. His dad bent over her body and ran his hands down her neck. He looked up at John sadly.

     “John,” he said. “She’s dead.”

     “N…no!” John snapped. “Vriska wouldn’t die so…easily!” He ran over to her and shook her shoulder. “Vriska, wake up! You’re inside now, you’re safe! Vriska!”

     “John,” Jane said, resting a hand on his shoulder. John looked up at her and saw she was crying. “Please stop. She…she’s gone.”

     “N-no. She can’t be…” John looked back down at Vriska, and his gaze fell on her neck. It was broken. Tears pooled out of his eyes and ran down his cheeks. He felt his dad and Jane hug him, but he was hardly aware. It was like he was in a dream. _This is impossible. This can’t be happening. She…she would never._

     John shut his eyes and howled at the top of his lungs. His best friend, the girl who had wished she was his soulmate, was dead.


	9. Chapter 9

     “Calm down Dave,” Rose said.

     “Calm down?!” Dave snapped. “He’s in _Canada!_ With that freaky-ass devil politician whatever! And how the fuck am I gonna afford to go to Canada?!”

     “I said calm-”

     The sound of Rose’s ringtone going off interrupted her. She sighed and answered the call.

     “I’m in the middle of disciplining Dave, can this be short?” Rose was silent and her eyes went wide. “Oh my god! Okay, we’ll come over.” Rose hung up and dropped her phone in her purse. “Dave, we’re going to Terezi’s. Now!”

     “What?” Rose grabbed Dave’s arm and hauled him out the door. They ran down the street, crossed and ran a few more blocks to Terezi’s house. While Rose rang the doorbell Dave caught his breath. Normally, running that much wouldn’t bother him, but she’d caught him off-guard.

     The door was opened by a panicked-looking Latula. “Oh good, please come in!” she said. She grabbed Rose and Dave’s hands and dragged them inside.

     “What’s going on?” Dave asked.

     “It’s Terezi,” Latula said. She sounded like she was trying not to cry.

     “What happened?”

     “Her…her soulmate’s dead.”

     Dave’s jaw dropped. It was then that he realized he could hear Terezi screaming and crying. Latula brought them into Terezi’s room. Terezi was curled up in a ball on the floor, while Kanaya, Tavros, Gamzee, Sollux and Karkat sat in a circle around her and tried to comfort her. It didn’t seem to be working. Rose and Dave immediately sat with them. Rose put her hand on Terezi’s shoulder while Dave sort of sat there.

     “She just passed out,” Kanaya said. “We were worried because she’s not sixteen yet so she couldn’t have been dreaming of her soulmate. Then she woke up screaming and crying and saying her soulmate’s dead.”

     “Terezi, what happened?” Rose asked. Terezi sobbed and wiped her eyes.

     “Th-there were a lot of people shouting and running and…I think she fell and someone stepped on her neck and broke it and…” She howled and Latula pulled her into a hug.

     “There, there,” she said. “Shh, shh.” Latula had begun to cry to, but she wiped the tears away and swallowed to stop herself. “Will someone call my mom please? Use my phone.” She jerked her head at her coat pocket. Kanaya reached in and took out her phone. She walked out of the room and shut the door. Dave looked back at Terezi. He had mixed feelings. On one hand, all his worries about how he just found out his soulmate was in Canada seemed pretty meaningless next to what Terezi was going through. On the other hand, now he was worried _his_ soulmate was going to die!

     “Who wath she?” Sollux asked. Latula glared at him, but Terezi actually stopped crying. She pulled away from Latula and wiped her face.

     “I don’t know her name,” she said. “But I have a sort of idea of what she looked like. She had long black hair and an eye-patch over one eye. And she was wearing a blue jacket and blue lipstick. And OH MY GOD SHE’S DEAD!” Terezi howled again and Latula pulled her back into a hug. Kanaya came back in the room and set Latula’s phone on a table. She sat down and rubbed Terezi’s back gently.

     “Your mom’s coming,” she said. Latula nodded, blinking back tears. Sollux took out his phone and walked out of the room. Dave reached over and held Terezi’s hand. He squeezed it as hard as he could without hurting her. He felt terrible, like he would puke any second. And the fact he hadn’t been getting any sleep for the last two days didn’t help.

     “Terezi!” Sollux said, coming back in. Terezi looked up in his direction.

     “What?!” she snapped.

     “Um…” Sollux looked like he was regretting saying anything.

     “What?!” Terezi repeated.

     “Don’t know if thith helpth, but I figured out who she ith…wath.” Terezi pulled away from Latula and sat up.

     “Who was she?!” Sollux took out his phone and after a few seconds of tapping the screen he spoke.

     “Vrithka Therket. Thixteen yearth old. She hath black hair, an eye-patch over her left eye and uthually wearth blue lipthtick. She liveth—lived in Canada, and wath at the riot that wath taking plathe. I called thomeone I know in Canada and he called thome other people and found out. She wath one of hith friendth…kind of.” Terezi took a deep breath. “Doeth that help?”

     “Not really,” Terezi said. “It doesn’t matter that much, does it? SHE’S FUCKING DEAD!”

     Ten minutes later, Terezi’s mom arrived. Dave and the others went to the living room to give the family their space. They all sat in silence for a while, none of them sure what to say.

     “Dave figured out where his soulmate is,” Rose finally said. Sollux’s head jerked up and he stared at Dave.

     “Bullshit! How the hell?!” he exclaimed.

     “Saw him on TV,” Dave said. “While they were shooting the riot.”

     “Oh shit.”

     “At least um, he’s not dead?” Tavros mumbled quietly. Dave scowled at him and he mumbled a quiet sorry and stared at his lap. Rose put an arm around Dave’s shoulders.

     “It’s going to be fine,” she whispered.

     “Shut up!” Dave snapped. “You don’t fucking know that!” Karkat, who was sitting on Dave’s other side, also wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

     “She said it’ll be fine, so it’ll be fine asshole,” he said. Dave clenched his jaw. _None of them know that! They just want me to feel better! Well fuck that! Terezi’s soulmate died from that riot! What if he dies?! There could be another one! Fuck my life!_ It wasn’t until Rose wiped his cheeks that Dave realized he was crying. He quickly wiped his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

     “…Don’t you dare tell Dirk I was crying,” he whispered.

     “We won’t,” Rose promised. Dave blinked and wiped his eyes again. He leaned his head back against the couch and shut his eyes. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!_ Karkat rested his head on his shoulder and Rose stroked his hair. Dave bit his lip and tried desperately not to puke. It was the worst day of his life.


	10. Chapter 10

     For John, the entire funeral felt like a dream. He remembered Aranea and her mom crying, and he was pretty sure he cried too. He said a speech of some sort, but he couldn’t remember what. Nepeta, Jade and Feferi were crying as well. Eridan looked like he was going to be sick and Equius focused all his attention on comforting Nepeta. Aradia stared blankly ahead throughout the whole thing, like she wasn’t bothered by it.

     John didn’t talk to his dad or Jane on the drive home. Once they were back he walked up to his room and collapsed on the floor. He stared blankly at the ceiling. _How could that have happened? How could she die? She was invincible. She was…_

     John still expected her to ring the doorbell and be standing there with her confident smile and say “Hey John, I’m bored. Let’s watch a movie and drink soda ‘til we pass out!” But the doorbell remained quiet, and John would never see a movie with Vriska again.

     His gaze traveled down the ceiling and to his window. Sitting on the windowsill was a small brown plant pot. He stood up and walked over to it. It wasn’t filled with dirt, and there wasn’t a plant in it. It was filled with sand, and sitting in it was a stick with a black cloth with a blue spider embroidered by Jane tied to it. A miniature flag. John had made it in memory of Vriska.

     Staring at the flag, the reality of everything came crashing down on him. He gasped and collapsed on the floor. He howled and curled up into a ball. Tears ran down his cheeks and he scrunched his eyes closed. _It didn’t happen! It didn’t happen! It didn’t happen!_ John felt his dad and Jane wrap their arms around him, but that did nothing to calm him down. He howled and sobbed and cried and cried. It felt like the end of the world to him.

     John didn’t leave his room the next day. He ate some of the food Jane brought up for him, but otherwise he didn’t talk to her or his dad. His friends tried to contact him but he ignored them all. Three days after Vriska’s funeral he finally came out of his room and walked downstairs to the kitchen. Jane was placing a tray of cookies in the oven. Every inch of the counter was covered in pots of cookies. Jane smiled when she saw John and pulled him into a hug.

     “How are you feeling?” she asked.

     “…I dunno,” John said. Jane nodded and released him. “Do you want something to eat? Not cookies, obviously. I know you hate baked goods. But there’s some Kraft Dinner in the cupboard that I could make for you.”

     “I think I’ll just sit,” John said. Jane smiled and nodded.

     “Of course.” John sat at the table and hugged his knees against his chest. Jane smiled at him and began fussing over the pots of cookies, straightening them even when they were already straight and wiping off imaginary dust. John hated to see her so…agitated. And upset. He felt like it was his fault, even though he knew it wasn’t.

     “Where’s dad?” he asked. Jane jumped slightly.

     “He’s…at another riot,” she said. John felt his stomach drop.

     “What?!” he exclaimed. Jane hugged him and stroked the back of his neck.

     “It’s important to him, okay? He really wants to stop Lord English. You haven’t been watching Lord English’s speeches on TV, but I have. He’s very homophobic, and I think this is dad’s way of protecting us.”

     “But he could get killed! Vriska—!” John gulped and didn’t finish the sentence. Jane hugged him tighter and nodded.

     “I know,” she said. Her voice sounded thick and John could feel her jaw quivering against his cheek. “But he really cares about us. We’re his kids! He just wants the country we’re living in to be a safe one.”

     “But how’s he going to protect us if he dies?!” Jane sobbed and buried her head in John’s shoulder. John did the same as he began to cry.

     “What if he doesn’t come back Jane?” he asked.

     “He’ll come back!”

     “How do you know?”

     “He’ll come back, okay?!”

 

TG: shut up!

UU: DON’T BE IN DENIAL DAVE. YOu KNOW IT’S TRuE!

TG: shut up! shut the fuck up!

UU: HE’S DEAD DAVE. YOu’RE NEVER GOING TO SEE HIM!

TG: you don’t know that! you don’t fucking know that!

TG: just leave me alone!

UU: NO.

UU: AND I DO KNOW DAVE.

TG: bullshit!

UU: DO YOu WANT TO KNOW HOW I KNOW?

TG: just shut up!

UU: I AM LORD ENGLISH DAVE.

     Dave’s eyes widened and his breath caught. _No. No, no, no, no!_

UU: THE ELECTION WAS JuST YESTERDAY, DID YOu KNOW THAT?

UU: DO YOu WANT TO GuESS WHO WON?

TG: shut up

UU: YOuR SOuLMATE’S DEAD DAVE! THE SOONER YOU ACCEPT IT, THE BETTER!

TG: terezi woke up crying when her soulmate died

TG: you’re a fucking liar!

UU: YOu REALLY THINK IT’S THAT SIMPLE?

TG: what?

UU: YOu THINK THAT’S HOW EVERYONE REACTS TO THEIR SOuLMATE’S DEATH?

TG: fuck you!

TG: he’s not dead!

UU: YES HE IS DAVE.

TG: no he’s not!

     Tears were running down Dave’s cheeks and he covered his face with his hands. _He’s lying. He’s got to be lying! …Right?_

 

     _BAM!_ John gasped and jumped awake. He grabbed the plant pot on his windowsill and ran out of his bedroom. His dad grabbed his arm and dragged him into his room. John had never even been in there before. Jane was there too.

     “Move the piano and hide!” he snapped. He pushed the rest of the furniture against the door. “Now!”

     Jane grabbed the piano and pulled it out of the way. Behind it was a hidden door. John opened it and he and Jane squeezed into a small cupboard.

     “Dad!” John whispered. “What’s going on?!” His dad looked at him sadly. He grabbed the piano and wheeled it back in front of the door. “Wait! Dad!”

     “Don’t make a sound!” he snapped. John shut his mouth and his dad shut the door and put the piano in front of it. Jane held John’s hands and they both waited in terrifying silence.

     Then there was a loud sound, like someone had broken through the door. Men shouted and gunshots were fired. Jane’s hand clamped over John’s mouth before he could scream. Her other hand clutched his tightly, and he could feel her shaking from sobs. He clutched the small plant pot against his chest. _Don’t let him die. Please don’t let him be dead._ John wasn’t even sure who he was praying to anymore. He was just praying.

     John had no idea how long they stayed trapped in that small cupboard. There must have been some sort of air vent in it because they didn’t suffocate. Finally, they got the nerve to open the door and move the piano. The sight that awaited them made John’s heart stop.

     The room was completely destroyed. There was blood splattered on the walls and bullet holes in the furniture, walls and window. Sitting in the middle of the room was a hand. John bent down and picked it up.

     “Oh god,” Jane whispered. John felt his throat close up and tears ran down his cheeks. Even though their mom was dead, their dad never stopped wearing his wedding ring. They could always recognise it easily: and it was wrapped around the ring finger of the hand. John ran his fingers across the rough skin, and he had no doubts it was his dad’s hand.

     He collapsed on the floor, shaking from sobs. Jane collapsed too and leaned on his shoulder. For a long time they just sat there, crying their eyes out. John couldn’t believe what was happening. His world was ending all over again. He looked over at Jane and saw her take her phone out.

     “What are you doing?” he asked weakly. Jane sobbed and wiped her eyes.

     “This country isn’t safe anymore!” she said.

 

     Dirk walked up to Dave’s bedroom door and knocked.

     “What?” Dave asked, his voice muffled by the door.

     “There’s a secret plane flight that’s going to take people out of Canada,” Dirk said.

     “…What?”

     “I’ve signed up to have one of the refugees stay at our place. They can take the spare bedroom.”

     “…Okay.”

     “Specifically, the younger brother of Roxy’s soulmate is staying here, okay?”

     “Okay.” Dirk sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

     “You okay?” he asked. There was a long pause and at first he thought Dave wasn’t going to answer.

     “I’m fine,” Dave said.

     “Okay then.” Dirk glanced at the door once before walking back into the living room. Roxy was putting her coat on and wrapping her scarf around her.

     “Why don’t you stay for a little while?” Dirk asked. Roxy smiled thinly and shook her head.

     “I need to be with Rosey.”

     “Why?” Roxy bit her lip and looked at the ground.

     “Um…you’ll see.” She smiled and waved. “Bye Dirky.” She turned and walked out the door. Dirk sat on the couch and looked at the clock. It read 12:23. _No wonder I’m tired._ Dirk yawned and lay on the couch, too lazy to get up and go to his room. He sighed and closed his eyes. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was worried. He was worried about Roxy and Rose and Jake and Roxy’s soulmate and her younger brother who would be staying with them and most of all he was worried about Dave. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t agreed to Roxy’s suggestion with the hope that the boy would turn out to be Dave’s soulmate.

     “Damn it,” Dirk whispered. “Everything’s a mess.”


	11. Chapter 11

     “Here you go,” Jane said, pinning a tag on John’s shirt. John held it up and read it:

Name: John Egbert  
Age: 16  
#13

     “Where’s yours?” John asked. Jane bit her lip and looked at the ground. John began to panic. “You are coming with me, right?!”

     “I’m sorry John,” Jane said. “I’m going to stay here. I need to protect the people who don’t get the chance to leave.” John felt like reality had just been pulled away from him.

     “But…I can’t just leave you!” Jane was trying so hard not to cry it was making John cry. “Please! You have to come with me! You’ll be able to see your soulmate then, right?!”

     “I’m sorry John,” Jane said again. She wrapped her arms around him in a hug and John burst out sobbing.

     “I don’t want to be on my own!” he wailed.

     “You’ll be staying with Roxy’s cousins,” Jane said. “They’re really nice, okay?”

     “I don’t care!”

     “John, listen to me.” Jane grabbed John’s chin and tilted his head up so their eyes locked. “I promised dad I would keep you safe if he couldn’t, okay? So I’m sending you to a place you’ll be safe in. But that doesn’t mean I can’t stay here and help fight like dad did.”

     “But dad died!” John yelled. He could feel the stares of other people and it just made him cry more. Jane was crying too.

     “I won’t die. I promise.” Jane kissed his forehead and did her best to smile. “I promise.”

     “You promised dad wouldn’t die too!” John snapped. Jane’s eyes widened and John immediately regretted it.

     “I-I’m sorry John,” she said, lowering her head.

     “No, I shouldn’t have gotten mad.” Jane pulled John into another hug, which he gladly returned.

     “Please come with me,” he said.

     “I’m sorry.”

     “Attention everyone!” A woman said through a speakerphone. “All passengers for flight 24F3 please board now.” Jane released John and smiled sadly.

     “Bye,” she whispered. She let go of John’s hands and stepped back. “Go on.”

     Feeling numb, John grabbed his suitcase and followed the other people getting on the plane. As he was walking inside he glanced back at Jane. She was crying and John wanted to run over to her and hug her. But he was pushed along by the crowd and was soon inside the plane.

     He immediately sat next to a window. He looked outside and found Jane. He waved to her and she waved back. He felt tears running down his cheeks and he sucked in a breath. Other people clamored around the windows, waving to the ones they were leaving behind. The plane was full of teary eyes and sobbing children. Then it started up and took off, and Jane disappeared from John’s view.

     John collapsed in his seat and closed his eyes. He shook with sobs and covered his face with his hands. _I’m leaving all my friends behind! What if they get killed?! What if Jane or Jade gets killed?!_

     The plane ride was long, and eventually John fell into a fitful sleep. He had nightmares about Vriska lying dead in the street and him holding his dad’s severed hand. He kept replaying Vriska’s and his dad’s deaths until he thought he would explode. He was only woken by the sudden pain in his wrist.

     He gasped and grabbed his right wrist. He stared at it and felt a lump form in his throat. _Not again._ He didn’t have anyone to talk to about it anymore. He’d talked to Vriska, but…

     John shut his eyes and cried himself back to sleep.

     Finally, after a long wait, the plane arrived at its destination. John stood up and followed the other passengers off the plane. All around, people were waiting, holding up signs with numbers. John took another look at his tag.

     “Number thirteen,” he said. He looked around for someone holding a 13.

     Eventually he found them. It was a guy who looked to be Jane’s age with white hair and weird shades. He introduced himself as Dirk Strider, Roxy’s cousin. John nodded and introduced himself. He followed Dirk to his car and got it.

     The drive was quiet and the silence was very awkward. John stared blankly out the window at the passing buildings. Texas was so different from Victoria. John was homesick already.

     “Where’s Roxy?” John asked.

     “I dunno,” Dirk said. “She said she had something important to do.”

     John didn’t talk for the rest of the ride. He wrapped his arms around himself and stared out the window. He’d used up all his tears and could only stare blankly ahead. And before he knew it they’d arrived at his new home.

     It was a tall apartment building. It looked identical to the ones surrounding it. John got his suitcase out of the trunk and followed Dirk inside. They rode the elevator to the top floor. Dirk led him down the hallway and to an apartment at the end of the hall. He unlocked it and walked in, shutting the door behind John.

     “Dave! We’re here!” he said. John heard a door open and a boy walked over to them. He froze when he saw John. John’s jaw dropped.

     It was his soulmate. He’d been so scared of not being able to find him this whole time, and he was standing in front of him. In an instant John found himself hugging him, though he wasn’t sure how that happened. He was aware he was crying though.

     “Oh my god,” he said. “Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!” Dave kissed his cheek and hugged him as tightly as he could. John rested his head on his shoulder and kissed his neck. _Oh my god!_

     “I was seriously scared you were dead,” Dave said.

     “I’m sorry.”

     “Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault.” John smiled and nodded. After a few minutes they pulled apart. Dave took his hand and led him to the living room, where Dirk was drinking Fanta. They sat on the couch and John rested his head on Dave’s shoulder.

     “By the way, what’s your name?” Dave asked him.

     “Oh, John.”

     “Cool.” He wrapped his arm around John’s shoulders. John closed his eyes and sighed. _I actually found him._

     There was the sound of a door being unlocked and John heard the front door slam open. He sat up, worried, and saw a girl with white hair run into the room. Her eyes were red from crying and her cheeks were tear-stained.

     “Rose!” Dave and Dirk exclaimed.

     “Where’s Roxy?” Dirk asked. Rose sobbed and shook her head.

     “She left!” she yelled. “She left for Canada! She…she said she’s going to help her soulmate fight back against Lord English! She just left!” Dave stood up and quickly pulled her into a hug.

     “Calm down,” he said. “Just calm down.”

     “Now I’m all alone in our big house!” Rose screeched. “She just left me! She’s my sister, she can’t just do that!”

     “I’m calling Kanaya,” Dirk said. John stood up and walked over to Rose. He reached over and patted her shoulder.

     “Um, Jane won’t let anything happen to her,” he said. Rose looked up at him and blinked.

     “Who are you?”

     “I’m John, Jane’s brother.”

     “My soulmate,” Dave added. Rose’s eyes widened and she managed a small smile.

     “At least something went right today.”

     Dave had her sit on the couch and let her cry into his shoulder. John sat on her other side and did the best he could. After a while Kanaya—who John found out was Rose’s soulmate—arrived and took over. John and Dave grabbed John’s suitcase and took it to John’s new bedroom.

     The only furniture was a mattress sitting in a corner and a chest of drawers. John set his suitcase down and opened it up. He took out the small plant pot and put it on the windowsill.

     “What’s that?” Dave asked.

     “It reminds me of a friend I had,” John said. He sniffed and wiped his eyes before he could start crying. Dave pulled him into a hug and stroked his hair.

     “You’re okay now John,” he said. “You’re safe here.”

     _But my friends aren’t._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is the ending. And yes, it ends on a cliff hanger. Let me explain.
> 
> When I finished writing this (months ago) I had a sequel in my head. I figured "I'll post this once I've written the sequel." Month after month passed, and I haven't written a single word. I just can't figure out how to start it. So yes, there is a sequel here in my brain but I don't know if I'll ever be able to write it. I'm sorry. I wanted to post this anyway because I really like this soulmate au I thought up. Speaking of which, if anyone decides to write a fic with this soulmate au (the dreaming-of-each-other thing), will you please let me know so I can read it? (And give me credit for the soulmate au too).
> 
> Thanks for reading this fic, I'm really proud of it. (Also, I hope you all realize it's rather unrealistic. No one like Lord English will ever take over here in Canada, I swear. I don't think it would be possible.)


End file.
